I totally blame you, dear flist

Do it like this:
Dear drachenmina,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our horoscope doesn't match.
I think I realized it when your dog ran amok at the mental hospital and I saw you knock out my best friend.
I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that Extreme Home Makeover sucks.
I'm returning your memories from the military service to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory.
You should also know that I was interviewed by the Times about embarrassing rash.
Your everlasting enemy,
gin_tonic


( How to do this meme )